A Tale Of Two Cities
©
Author:
I’ve got a house with lots of rooms, a mansion you might say
Including lots of bedrooms in case Europe wants to stay
I’ll gladly have Mugabe and Kim Jong-Il as my guests
Unless there’s an election and they come off second best
I’ve empty rooms a’plenty in my Manor on the Downs
And more in my pied a terre in good old London town
My family don’t need them though my servants use a few
And neither gaffe is mortgaged thanks to Dad’s tax dodging, too

But the poor folk don’t need spare rooms, they’re a drain upon the state
They’ve a couch and when that’s full there is the floor
if they haven’t got a job well that’s not my fault is it, mate?
That’s the price they pay for being bloody poor.

I like to view the works of art of relatives long gone
For they’re the reason I have got two houses not just one
They made a lot of money out of misery, don’t you know
Oh bugger me, I forgot about my lovely French chateau
Three houses keep me busy and provide for holidays
With my wife, two kids and nanny in our lovely Swiss chalet
That makes it four now, doesn’t it, mathematics is a b***
Thank God I’ve an accountant who makes sure that I stay rich

But the poor folk should be happy with a roof over their head
That doesn’t leak except for when it rains
And lifts that never work and kids that sleep three in a bed
Whilst I sit quaffing my vintage champagnes

I don’t see what you’re getting at, the point you’re trying to make
Disabled kids don’t need their own room let the plebs eat cake
It’s not my fault that I am rich whilst they don’t have a crumb
Why should I care about them, they are not my problem, chum?
I really don’t have time for all their whinging and their moans
They don’t know the costs involved in keeping up 4 homes
We’re all in this together, Dave and George have told me so
My man has told me that my car is ready, I must go
So clear a path, get out my way, stop pushing, shoving, jolting
Don’t raise your fists to me, it’s true, the peasants are revolting.